Five Guys, London

Five Guys

Nearest Tube Station: Covent Garden

In honour of Fat Friday (yes, I've classed this as an official day of the week) I thought it was time to set stomachs rumbling with a deliciously filthy burger review. 

Warning: If you haven't had your lunch yet, I hold no responsibility to the inevitable groans that'll escape from your mouth once you see the picture below. 

Ready?

I know.

With over 1000 locations in the US (and new stores opening up throughout the UK), Five Guys is undoubtedly a popular burger chain with a cult following. We visited the one based in Covent Garden and with a growling stomach and a queue that snaked down Long Acre, we were ready to take on the biggest burger that they could offer.

London is long forgotten as soon as you step into the restaurant. Five Guys is decked out in a classic 50s American diner theme with crates of free monkey nuts and quoted posters from popular publications splashed across their walls.

We met up with the manager, Martynas (who's so very lovely and welcoming!) and he proceeded to give us a tour around the restaurant and the history of the brand. Similar to the layout of American fast food chains that you see in the movies, a huge lit up board of the menu is hung up above you like a holy burger-shaped beacon of light.

Just a quick note, Five Guys' serving sizes are very generous. A standard cheeseburger is made up of two beef patties whereas a 'little' burger is made up of one. They're also available bunless too. All the burger toppings are free so if you feel like taking on a Man Vs Food challenge, roam and be wild.

Feeling ravenous, Jordan and I both opted for a cheeseburger with bacon, grilled onions, jalapenos and chilli sauce with a small portion of their normal fries and cajun spiced fries to share. Martynas told us their potatoes are only cooked in 100% peanut oil and the beef are always served well done with no option to customise upon ordering.

This surprised me a little and as a lover of medium rare beef, I asked him why. It's to ensure the final product is consistently juicy and meets with the health and safety requirements of ground beef. All sounds fair but I won't be converted anytime soon... I like me a pink patty.

After ordering, you're given a paper slip with a number on and urged to join the large crowd of hungry diners. Help yourself to free monkey nuts whilst you're waiting!

Food is served in large brown paper bags. This amused me greatly and continued on my act of pretending that I was secretly in America. We were led to a hidden booth under an alcove away from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant and after spreading our food haul across the table, I hopped over to the drinks machine. Unlimited soda? Let's go!



Behold soda lovers, this is the Coca-Cola Freestyle Drinks Machine. Although I stopped drinking coke a year ago, I still had plenty to choose from with the 100+ different flavours available.

Fanta Zero Grape and Fanta Zero Peach, I choose you.



After a few slurps of my drink, it was time to chow down. I unwrapped the silver parcel to reveal my double patty burger. Heck, that's a lot of melted cheese.



I don't like bacon.

I hear the gasps of disgust thrown at me from every direction but it's too salty and oily for my liking. Jordan persuaded me to add it to my burger and proclaimed that it would d be a 'life-changing' experience so I took the chance... and I liked it. Scratch that, I loved it so much that I even overlooked the fact that it was served in a sesame seed topped bun. It wasn't lazily served as a slice of streaky bacon and result in awkward 'let me just chew at this meat mid-bite' faces. It was cut up and served between the patty and bun. It was deliciously smoky and I'm also eating my words as the beef was in fact juicy despite being well cooked through.

The cheese was as artificial as it could get but what's a classic American burger without a slice of the processed plastic, ey? There was one thing about it that made my eyebrows knit themselves together though - it wasn't chilli despite having jalapenos and added hot sauce. I prised one from its nest of grilled onions and nibbled away at it - nope. There wasn't even the smallest of kicks. I wasted no time in reaching for the bottle of chilli sauce and proceeded to drown my burger and fries in an ocean of spice. That's better.



Jordan was obsessed with the cajun spiced fries. They were a little too salty for my liking but I generally prefer my sides to be hardly salted so it was just a personal preference. He gathered them with his hands and shoveled them into his open mouth whilst going 'these are some of the best fries I've ever tasted!' They were seasoned well but having one too many did make me reach for my fizzy drink. A small size would be more than enough for two to share. Ours were served in the plastic cup... with practically another portion overspilling into the paper bags. I repeat, Five Guys are very generous with their serving sizes.



In the future, I'd definitely opt for a little burger with a single patty as I definitely produced the mother of food babies after demolishing this beast. I was ready for a nap.



I asked Jordan what his thoughts were and he replied with this:

I think it's time we nurse our food babies and head home.

This was actually my second time visiting Five Guys - the first being a hot summer's day in which I had little patience to appreciate the food. I didn't care for the burger initially but was very pleasantly surprised the second time round. I don't know whether it was my mood, the fact that I had a double patty than a single one or whether the quality had changed since its opening in July but I enjoyed it a lot better this time. It will never beat the likes of Patty & Bun (my ultimate favourite so far) but it's a good one to grab and go if you're in the area and fancied a splash of an American vibe. It's a grown-up McDonald's and I have no doubts about going again (and also attack their freestyle drinks machine).