Five Guys, London

Five Guys

Nearest Tube Station: Covent Garden

In honour of Fat Friday (yes, I've classed this as an official day of the week) I thought it was time to set stomachs rumbling with a deliciously filthy burger review. 

Warning: If you haven't had your lunch yet, I hold no responsibility to the inevitable groans that'll escape from your mouth once you see the picture below. 

Ready?

I know.

With over 1000 locations in the US (and new stores opening up throughout the UK), Five Guys is undoubtedly a popular burger chain with a cult following. We visited the one based in Covent Garden and with a growling stomach and a queue that snaked down Long Acre, we were ready to take on the biggest burger that they could offer.

London is long forgotten as soon as you step into the restaurant. Five Guys is decked out in a classic 50s American diner theme with crates of free monkey nuts and quoted posters from popular publications splashed across their walls.

We met up with the manager, Martynas (who's so very lovely and welcoming!) and he proceeded to give us a tour around the restaurant and the history of the brand. Similar to the layout of American fast food chains that you see in the movies, a huge lit up board of the menu is hung up above you like a holy burger-shaped beacon of light.

Just a quick note, Five Guys' serving sizes are very generous. A standard cheeseburger is made up of two beef patties whereas a 'little' burger is made up of one. They're also available bunless too. All the burger toppings are free so if you feel like taking on a Man Vs Food challenge, roam and be wild.

Feeling ravenous, Jordan and I both opted for a cheeseburger with bacon, grilled onions, jalapenos and chilli sauce with a small portion of their normal fries and cajun spiced fries to share. Martynas told us their potatoes are only cooked in 100% peanut oil and the beef are always served well done with no option to customise upon ordering.

This surprised me a little and as a lover of medium rare beef, I asked him why. It's to ensure the final product is consistently juicy and meets with the health and safety requirements of ground beef. All sounds fair but I won't be converted anytime soon... I like me a pink patty.

After ordering, you're given a paper slip with a number on and urged to join the large crowd of hungry diners. Help yourself to free monkey nuts whilst you're waiting!

Food is served in large brown paper bags. This amused me greatly and continued on my act of pretending that I was secretly in America. We were led to a hidden booth under an alcove away from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant and after spreading our food haul across the table, I hopped over to the drinks machine. Unlimited soda? Let's go!



Behold soda lovers, this is the Coca-Cola Freestyle Drinks Machine. Although I stopped drinking coke a year ago, I still had plenty to choose from with the 100+ different flavours available.

Fanta Zero Grape and Fanta Zero Peach, I choose you.



After a few slurps of my drink, it was time to chow down. I unwrapped the silver parcel to reveal my double patty burger. Heck, that's a lot of melted cheese.



I don't like bacon.

I hear the gasps of disgust thrown at me from every direction but it's too salty and oily for my liking. Jordan persuaded me to add it to my burger and proclaimed that it would d be a 'life-changing' experience so I took the chance... and I liked it. Scratch that, I loved it so much that I even overlooked the fact that it was served in a sesame seed topped bun. It wasn't lazily served as a slice of streaky bacon and result in awkward 'let me just chew at this meat mid-bite' faces. It was cut up and served between the patty and bun. It was deliciously smoky and I'm also eating my words as the beef was in fact juicy despite being well cooked through.

The cheese was as artificial as it could get but what's a classic American burger without a slice of the processed plastic, ey? There was one thing about it that made my eyebrows knit themselves together though - it wasn't chilli despite having jalapenos and added hot sauce. I prised one from its nest of grilled onions and nibbled away at it - nope. There wasn't even the smallest of kicks. I wasted no time in reaching for the bottle of chilli sauce and proceeded to drown my burger and fries in an ocean of spice. That's better.



Jordan was obsessed with the cajun spiced fries. They were a little too salty for my liking but I generally prefer my sides to be hardly salted so it was just a personal preference. He gathered them with his hands and shoveled them into his open mouth whilst going 'these are some of the best fries I've ever tasted!' They were seasoned well but having one too many did make me reach for my fizzy drink. A small size would be more than enough for two to share. Ours were served in the plastic cup... with practically another portion overspilling into the paper bags. I repeat, Five Guys are very generous with their serving sizes.



In the future, I'd definitely opt for a little burger with a single patty as I definitely produced the mother of food babies after demolishing this beast. I was ready for a nap.



I asked Jordan what his thoughts were and he replied with this:

I think it's time we nurse our food babies and head home.

This was actually my second time visiting Five Guys - the first being a hot summer's day in which I had little patience to appreciate the food. I didn't care for the burger initially but was very pleasantly surprised the second time round. I don't know whether it was my mood, the fact that I had a double patty than a single one or whether the quality had changed since its opening in July but I enjoyed it a lot better this time. It will never beat the likes of Patty & Bun (my ultimate favourite so far) but it's a good one to grab and go if you're in the area and fancied a splash of an American vibe. It's a grown-up McDonald's and I have no doubts about going again (and also attack their freestyle drinks machine).

Spit & Roast - Street Feast @ Hawker House

I really love fried chicken.

And chilli anything.

I love burgers too.

So what do you get when you combine them all under a sesame topped bun with slaw and a river of Korean hot sauce?

Perfection that is Spit & Roast's Buttermilk Fried Chicken Bap, that's what. 

  

Specialising in rotisserie meat and known for their buttermilk fried chicken, Spit & Roast were another food trader that I was keen to try out at Hawker House (click here for more information about Street Feast and my post on Yum Bun). 

With my appetite now in full swing, we joined the queue and waited excitedly for our turn to get our hands on their baps (couldn't resist). The slow rotisserie pork belly sounded pretty dandy with their Memphis BBQ sauce but my eyes were fixed on the chicken.

It's marinated overnight in buttermilk before it's soaked in a secret pillow of spice and deep-fried until it's at the delicious shade of golden goodness. The Korean hot sauce appears to be a concoction of Sriracha sauce (instant win), peanut butter (double win), rice wine and light soy sauce.

SRIRACHA AND PEANUT BUTTER TOGETHER?!
Just give me a second.

   

This is Jordan after his first bite of the bap. That smug face of his says it all.

Too bad that shortly after this, I snatched the second half to spend some much-needed quality time with it. Note, at this point, I wasn't concerned with being particularly lady-like and devoured the burger in a matter of seconds (stopping occasionally to utter a 'oh my GOODNESS' to a sulking Jordan. He had his turn.)

 

The chicken was beautifully crisp with the perfect amount of spice. It was lightly battered and wasn't soaked in grease. Chicken has a danger of being marinated well on the outside but be extremely dry and bland as soon as you bite into it but there were no dangers of this happening with Spit & Roast's offering. We were wiping away the juices dribbling down our chins and licking away at the tell-tale signs of chilli sauce on our lips.

Speaking of the Korean hot sauce, it was the perfect marriage with the buttermilk chicken. Everything is always made better with spice and this was no exception. My tummy is already rumbling at the thought of this.

I'm never a fan of sesame-topped buns but would happily overlook it when considering the quality and taste of everything else. 10/10. Perfection. Beautiful.

GIVE ME MORE.

We were getting full at this point so couldn't stomach the food from the other vendors but Fundi's Pizzas, Breddos Tacos and Bleecker Burger were rustling up dishes that smelt and looked incredible too. Don't worry, we'll be back for you.

Unfortunately, Spit & Roast aren't currently trading at Hawker House but you can find them at KERB Kings Cross and Brockley Market. Follow them on Twitter to be updated with their latest news and for the love of fried chicken, give their buttermilk baps a try.

Honest Burgers, London

Afternoon!

Just a quick note from me to say that the search for London's best burger is still on and last weekend, Honest Burgers (Soho branch) was our latest victim. Muhaha. If you're interested in our full review, Jordan and I have started a joint food blog called Our Food Bucket List and you'll be able to find the post there. As the name suggests, it'll be reviews of places on our food bucket list. We're aiming to visit at least one new restaurant a month - it's hard work but somebody's gotta do it ;). I know, I know... that's another blog of mine to follow but if you're interested in pure restaurant reviews - head over there! I promise that this is a good'un. 

Sneak peak of my review:
If you're after a burger dripping with oily juices and grease, this won't be it. If you're however, looking for a burger that momentarily widens your eyes as big as they'll go, stop you mid-chew to comprehend the explosion of flavours in your mouth before ravishing the burger like a beast... look no further. Table manners are thrown out of the door - a knife and fork? Ain't nobody got time for that.

How does it measure up to our favourite burger joints (so far) Patty & Bun and Shake Shack? Well, you'll have to scoot your bum over there and find out ;)

Still not convinced? I'll leave you with this and just gingerly step away in three... two... one...

No, wait. I'm back again.

As I'm shamelessly self-promoting every blog and YouTube channel I have - this one couldn't be missed. For those foodies interested in fashion too (nothing better than food babies hidden in a oversized jumper) I recently uploaded my 'How I Style: B&W for Work/Formal Occasions' lookbook. 5 outfits - all monochrome. The neutral lovin' fiend in me was very excited when planning this. Prefer blogs instead? I've gotchu covered. Head over to Shu Likes Clothes for today's post that combines silk, leather and Jack Russells.

As usual, thanks for reading! 

How much do you want a burger right now?

Patty & Bun, London

Patty & Bun, St. Christopher's Place

Address: 54 James St London W1U 1HE

Nearest Tube Station: Bond Street

I'm going to let you in on London's worst kept secret...

Step forward, Patty & Bun. 

It's a quick stroll from Bond St and all you have to do is to follow the signs to meat heaven... or the small country of people queuing outside the restaurant. They can seat around 30 people and operate on a first come first served policy..

Tip: Arrive an hour before peak time (12-2PM and 6-8PM). We turned up at 5PM on a Saturday evening and waited for a maximum of 15 minutes. All the quicker to have the burgers in our tums. 

My excitement got the better of me and I forgot to take interior shots of the place. Imagine a small rectangular room with dim overhead lights, decorated cardboard posters, the occasional 'I'M SIGNING OVER MY SOUL FOR ANOTHER BURGER' scream and the smell of happiness.

Enough talk. Let's get down to the main event.

Jordan (part time boyfriend, full time burger muncher) ordered the Smokey Robinson: beef patty, cheese, tomato, lettuce, mounds of caramelised onions, bacon, ketchup, smokey P&B mayo, brioche (bun). The man sure loves his bacon so this naturally didn't escape from his wandering eyes.

I ordered the 'Jose Jose' chilli burger: beef patty, smoked cheese, tomato, lettuce, chilli chorizo relish, pickled onions, spiced ketchup, smokey P&B mayo, brioche (bun) and a partridge on a pear tree. I was lured in by the promise of 'chilli' and 'spice' - if there's something hot on the menu, I'm orderin' it. I'm not a fan of having half the burger 'dribble' out though so I ordered the chilli chorizo relish to be served separately - classic case of me trying to control the burger instead of letting it control me. 

That theory ended when I bit into it and made some pretty awkward noises. It's OK though, I looked around and 28 other people were doing the same thing. Jordan was on the verge of dancing on the tables with his bacon burger in hand.

Now, I have a simple but strict criteria when judging a burger:

THE BUN: Oh, the BUN. I favour the brioche kind -  it's firm, holds the meat well, doesn't disintegrate between your fingers in a soggy sesame topped mess (here's lookin' at you, McDonalds) and the shiny top just finishes off my seal of approval. TICK.

THE PATTY: The meat has to be grilled medium rare (it's not a real burger if it's well done, the same goes for steak), seasoned well, moist (I hate that word but it's appropriate) burst with burger juice but not be WET. Things just got all kinds of wrong with that description but you know what I mean. No problems here, folks.

TOPPINGS: It's all good trickin' the mind with your healthy parcel of vegetables with its mounds of lettuce, tomatoes and caramelised onions but again, it has to be crisp and not interfere with the meat. Having tomato pips dangle awkwardly between the end of the burger and your chin? No bueno. I'd probably stick in a few jalapenos and grilled mushrooms in there too. 

SAUCE: All good. Smokey, creamy and blended everything nicely. If there was a chilli sauce bottle on the table, I would've drowned my burger in an ocean of the stuff.

Time for a close up. 

And because I like taking pictures of the burgers mid-bite:

You're welcome.

Wait, this wasn't even the best part.

There's no denying that the burger was a thing of brilliance but one of their side dishes actually over-thwarted their position on the throne. Let me present to you...

Winger Winger Chicken Dinner (10 points for the pun): Smoked confit wings with BBQ sauce & spring onions.

I'm tellin' you, these are a MUST ORDER. Sell your soul, trade in your other half (was nice knowing you, Jord) and feast on these. I'm normally very skeptical of wings as there's nothing worse than a saucy exterior... with dry and bland meat inside. It's hard to get right so I normally opt out of it. This, my friends, changed everything. The chicken quite literally fell off the bone with a gentle prod of the finger - it MELTED into our mouths and if the staff thought the burger noises were bad, they weren't prepared for this. Jordan and I nearly wrestled each other for the last wing before begrudgingly splitting it in half. Even if you don't like burgers, turn up and order these alone.

We also ordered the chips with rosemary salt - good but nothin' to write home about when they're up against the wings. 

So that's all, folks.

I turned into the creepiest of creeps when writing this review but this place will do these things to you. Jordan told me that it was a burger that he would quite happily strip for and he's normally very composed. Seems that I have competition but it's OK, I'd do it too.

When you're next in the area, give them a visit.